My creative expression has transformed in the last 15 years and I'm thanking Pluto for it
big pluto transit, transformation, reflection on evolving expression and creativity
I did a transit reading for a client slash old friend this last week and it took me to a breakthrough - as it always does.
It got me to arrive at the juncture of looking at Pluto, the planet of transformation, transiting my 5th House of Pleasure, Creativity, Expression, Dating, Children, and Fun for the last FIFTEEN years. No wonder I have been eating, breathing, and thinking of ✨ pleasure✨ so much in the last few months that it has come to be my word for 2024. And guess what? The fact that I am typing this out to you is proof that it has already started to work its magic.
As of January 20th, Pluto is going to move into the sign of Aquarius. Yes, while we have a whole 20-year cycle waiting to witness what it would mean for us, let’s take a moment to simmer into what Pluto brought while it was slowly cruising through. It has been in the sign of Saturnian-ruled Capricorn since 2008. I was fifteen then. Let’s just say it’s been a while for us to not take this transit as just who we are and just how life has always been.
Here’s what mine looked like - an intense painful affair with things that were supposed to be fun, joyful, and beautiful.
But this week, as I nestled on my white furry rug under the winter sun beaming through my door, I told myself, “Heck, no more.”
I am visibly tired of fighting battles.
I have been even more tired ever since I decided I would turn my pain into creative pursuits. In my early twenties, I was bingeing on documentaries of artists and writers glorifying their suffering and how sharing their art saved them from this pain. It fueled an already burning fire in me. I decided to take that pain and lay it down as the foundation and the muse of my legacy in the world. The thing was, I had to look into its eye every fucking day while I built that work brick by brick.
And boy, it has been painful.
Don’t get me wrong. I am very proud of all the work that has channeled through me in the past five years. In the last fifteen years, from writing brooding poetry on Instagram to publishing healing courses, I think my creative expression has fully transformed as my healing journey did.
Every time I put out a piece of work in the world, trust I went through a whole initiation for it behind the scenes. These classes and workshops alongside a whole body of content churned out in the process have been an outcome of my hunger for help and resources to heal myself. It was not just relieving to discover these resources much similar to a parched man stumbling upon an oasis in a desert - but it was also nourishing to share these resources with my community and to realize gosh, I am not alone in my suffering!
So while, on a spiritual level, this was the greatest work of my life, on a human level, there is more to come.
When it comes to my creative expression, I admit that for the longest time, it felt like this was the only way to do art, creativity, and expression. A bitter-sweet barter for signing up to live a creative life - exactly how the whole world always told us that there would be one.
But s l o w l y things have been changing. (PS: Pluto is THE slowest planet in astrology and hence is called a generational planet taking 15-20 years to change signs).
Something has been whispering in my ear of late and with each passing day the ringing went louder and louder. “There is a better way.”
There should be a better way.
It felt selfish to listen to this call let alone answer it because my purpose, my art, and my creativity were supposed to be above everything. However, when your world is burning and your art still cannot come and save you the way you need to be - you have to stop and listen.
You have to get selfish.
You have to say, “Yes I want that better way. Show me! Please!”
Truth is, I am done rehashing my pain over and over again to make art out of it.
Or maybe, my time to do that and benefit from it has come to an end.
I am done using fear and pain as my muse.
I have decided to be free, selfishly free of my pain and suffering, even if that meant my creative legacy could be at stake.
This painful living could not be my creative legacy.
I don’t want to live the rest of my life burning in angst and taking revenge with my art.
*Sorry, one espresso shot of peace instead!*
My foundation of trauma, pain, and angst has gone through profound healing and release. Transformation, in Plutonian words. The Universe has ushered me into the softest era of honoring my own joy and my own pleasure.
It almost took my hand and said,
“Get fucking selfish babe.”
With all this spaciousness in my body now,
I cannot help but ask myself in these balmy winter afternoons when the sun is at its golden best,
What would I create if my foundations were joy, beauty, leisure, and pleasure?
What would my creative expression and legacy look like if I had nothing more to fix?
What would I spend my days knitting if I felt this calm, relaxed, and abundant in my being?
I have this image in my mind as I write these words. An image of a war journalist choosing to stay on the battlefield even when the war is long over. He does have an option to walk out into a world of peace and joy all over again, but he is held back. He just doesn’t know how to live beyond this world and so he prolongs his stay as much as he can so that he can continue living in the same hell for the sake of his stories.
But as Pluto stands at 29 degree Capricorn today and in two day’s time would walk into 0 degree Aquarius in my sixth house of work,
I want to be brave and trust and walk out of the chosen battlefield.
I want to trust in the unknown - even if it means laying down a whole new foundation.
So much of the path forward is still foggy and yet to be unfolded.
But I am learning to be patient.
I am learning to trust this curiosity and wonder in the now - a lesson these last few months of unabashed indulgence in fantasy and romances have left me with. It’s sweet - even if unknown and unsettling. Change is the only constant after all. And Pluto in Aquarius is going to teach us this big time. I recorded a six-minute audio on this transit here.
If this has left you in curiosity of your own transformation over the last 15 years, then hop on to astro.com and get yourself a free natal chart (I prefer whole house systems) to see which house you have Capricorn and Aquarius in your chart.
Here is a guide to see what each house means in case you are an astro fresher:
Reflect or journal on these possible prompts:
What kind of transformation you have experienced in the last fifteen years in this area?
What has worked?
What is no longer working?
What new beliefs do you need to honor this transformation? (eg: for me it has been ‘I don’t have to suffer to live a creative life. I can express my creativity without hurting myself’)
I hope this blog inspires you to celebrate your longest transformation this week and grants you the permission slip to usher into the change that is now coming forth for you and the collective. Much love, let’s rise together ☀️